Who vs. Whom: How to Use Them Correctly

Many writers and speakers of English struggle with the distinction between "who" and "whom." This grammatical choice confuses both language learners and native speakers alike. Yet, understanding the difference requires mastering just two fundamental rules. This article breaks down these rules with practical examples and memory techniques to help you make the correct choice every time.

The Core Difference Between Who and Whom

At their core, "who" and "whom" serve different grammatical functions:

Who functions as a subject pronoun in sentences
Whom functions as an object pronoun or follows prepositions

These distinctions might initially seem abstract, but they follow logical patterns that, once understood, make choosing between them straightforward.

The Two Essential Rules for Using Who and Whom Correctly

English grammar provides two clear rules governing when to use each term:

Rule 1: Use "Who" for Subjects

Use "who" when referring to the person performing an action (the subject of a sentence). The subject is the "doer" of the action in a sentence.

Examples:

Who wrote this report? (The person wrote the report)
The manager who called the meeting is retiring next month.
Who wants to volunteer for the project?

In each case, "who" refers to the person performing the action: writing, calling, or wanting.

Rule 2: Use "Whom" for Objects or After Prepositions

Use "whom" when referring to the person receiving an action (the object) or when the pronoun follows a preposition (to, for, with, by, etc.).

Examples as objects:

Whom did you invite to dinner? (You invited the person)
The candidate whom we interviewed yesterday was impressive.

Examples after prepositions:

To whom should I address this letter?
The colleague with whom I collaborated won an award.
From whom did you receive this information?

A Foolproof Method: The He/Him or She/Her Substitution Test

If remembering subject and object rules feels challenging, there's a simpler approach. English pronouns come in subject and object forms, and "who/whom" follows the same pattern as "he/she" and "him/her":

Who corresponds to he/she (subject pronouns)
Whom corresponds to him/her (object pronouns)

To apply this test:

Rephrase the question or statement as an answer
If you would use "he" or "she," use "who"
If you would use "him" or "her," use "whom"

Example 1:

Question: "_____ wrote this email?"
Answer: "She wrote this email." (subject pronoun)
Therefore: "Who wrote this email?"

Example 2:

Question: "_____ did you recommend for the position?"
Answer: "I recommended him for the position." (object pronoun)
Therefore: "Whom did you recommend for the position?"

Example 3:

Statement: "The professor _____ I admire most teaches linguistics."
Answer: "I admire her most." (object pronoun)
Therefore: "The professor whom I admire most teaches linguistics."

This substitution technique is particularly helpful for complex sentences where the grammatical role might not be immediately apparent.

Common Sentence Structures Using Who and Whom

Understanding the typical sentence structures where these pronouns appear can further clarify their usage:

Who in Action:

Interrogative sentences (questions):
Who left the door open?
Who will represent us at the conference?
Relative clauses (describing a person):
The scientist who discovered this compound received a Nobel Prize.
Anyone who wants to join must register by Friday.

Whom in Action:

Interrogative sentences:
Whom did the committee select as chairperson?
Whom will they nominate for the award?
Relative clauses:
The author whom the critics praised has written a new novel.
The employees whom the manager recognized received bonuses.
After prepositions:
The person to whom you spoke is the director.
The client for whom we developed the software has renewed the contract.

The Evolution of "Whom" in Modern English

Language constantly evolves, and "whom" represents an interesting case of changing usage patterns. In contemporary English, especially in casual conversation, "who" has increasingly replaced "whom" in many contexts where traditional grammar would prescribe "whom."

This shift reflects a broader trend toward simplification in English grammar. However, in formal writing, academic contexts, and professional communications, the distinction remains important.

Contexts where "whom" remains common:

Formal writing (academic papers, business proposals, legal documents)
Set phrases ("to whom it may concern")
After prepositions in formal contexts ("with whom," "for whom")
Professional or official communications

Contexts where "who" often replaces "whom" in modern usage:

Casual conversation
Informal emails or text messages
When the preposition appears at the end of a sentence ("Who did you give it to?")
When the technically correct "whom" might sound overly formal

When Both Options Are Acceptable

In certain structures, both "who" and "whom" may be considered acceptable, particularly in conversational English:

"Who/Whom did you meet at the conference?"
"Who/Whom are you going to invite?"
"Who/Whom were they talking about?"

In these examples, "whom" represents the technically correct form according to traditional grammar rules. However, "who" has become widely accepted in everyday speech and increasingly in written communication.

Formal Expressions Using "Whom"

Some formal expressions and set phrases consistently use "whom" and are worth memorizing:

To whom it may concern – A formal salutation used in letters when the recipient's name is unknown
With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking? – A formal telephone greeting
For whom the bell tolls – A famous phrase from John Donne, later used as a book title by Ernest Hemingway

These expressions maintain the traditional usage and tend to appear in formal or literary contexts.

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Even experienced writers sometimes struggle with "who" and "whom." Here are some frequent error patterns and strategies to avoid them:

Mistake 1: Incorrect use after prepositions

Incorrect: The person who I gave the documents to... Correct: The person to whom I gave the documents... Also correct in casual contexts: The person who I gave the documents to...

Mistake 2: Using "whom" as a subject

Incorrect: Whom is responsible for this project? Correct: Who is responsible for this project?

Mistake 3: Using "who" as an object in formal writing

Incorrect: The candidates who we interviewed yesterday... Correct: The candidates whom we interviewed yesterday...

Mistake 4: Confusion in complex sentences

Incorrect: He's the executive whom we think will succeed the CEO. Correct: He's the executive who we think will succeed the CEO.

In this last example, the confusion arises because "will succeed" requires a subject pronoun. The structure can be understood as: "We think he will succeed the CEO."

Special Cases and Exceptions

Some sentence structures create special challenges for choosing between "who" and "whom":

1. Interrupted clauses

When other phrases or clauses interrupt the main structure, identifying the grammatical role can become difficult:

Example: "Who, despite numerous obstacles that would have discouraged most people, eventually succeeded in the endeavor?"

Here, "who" is correct because it serves as the subject of "succeeded."

2. Implied antecedents

Sometimes the person being referred to isn't explicitly mentioned:

Example: "Give the award to whoever earns the highest score."

In this case, "whoever" (not "whomever") is correct because it's the subject of "earns," even though it follows the preposition "to." The entire clause "whoever earns the highest score" functions as the object of the preposition.

3. Compound structures

When "who/whom" appears in compound structures, determine its role in each part:

Example: "We need someone who understands the technology and whom clients trust."

Here, "who" is the subject of "understands," while "whom" is the object of "trust."

Tips for Writers: When to Be Strict and When to Relax

Context matters when deciding how strictly to adhere to the who/whom distinction:

When to be strict:

Academic writing
Job applications, resumes, and cover letters
Professional proposals and reports
Legal documents
Any high-stakes formal writing

When a more relaxed approach may be acceptable:

Conversational dialogue in creative writing
Emails to colleagues
Social media posts
Blog articles with a casual tone

Practical Exercises to Master Who vs. Whom

The most effective way to internalize these rules is through practice. Try these exercises:

______ wrote this report?
To ______ should I address this complaint?
The professor ______ lectures on Tuesdays is Dr. Smith.
______ did you recommend for the position?
The applicant ______ we interviewed has accepted our offer.
______ would you like to invite to the event?
The consultant with ______ I worked has submitted the proposal.
______ do you think will win the election?

(Answers: 1. Who, 2. whom, 3. who, 4. Whom, 5. whom, 6. Whom, 7. whom, 8. Who)

The Impact of Correct Usage in Professional Settings

While the distinction between "who" and "whom" might seem like a minor grammatical point, it can have significant implications in professional contexts. Using these pronouns correctly signals attention to detail, linguistic precision, and education level.

Research by business communication experts suggests that grammatical accuracy in written communications influences perceptions of competence. In one survey of hiring managers, 56% reported that they would be less likely to interview candidates whose applications contained grammatical errors, including pronoun mistakes.

In client-facing professions like law, consulting, and corporate communications, proper grammar contributes to the overall impression of professionalism and expertise.

Learn Any Language with Kylian AI

Private language lessons are expensive. Paying between 15 and 50 euros per lesson isn’t realistic for most people—especially when dozens of sessions are needed to see real progress.

Many learners give up on language learning due to these high costs, missing out on valuable professional and personal opportunities.

That’s why we created Kylian: to make language learning accessible to everyone and help people master a foreign language without breaking the bank.

To get started, just tell Kylian which language you want to learn and what your native language is

Tired of teachers who don’t understand your specific struggles as a French speaker? Kylian’s advantage lies in its ability to teach any language using your native tongue as the foundation.

Unlike generic apps that offer the same content to everyone, Kylian explains concepts in your native language (French) and switches to the target language when necessary—perfectly adapting to your level and needs.

This personalization removes the frustration and confusion that are so common in traditional language learning.

Choose a specific topic you want to learn

Frustrated by language lessons that never cover exactly what you need? Kylian can teach you any aspect of a language—from pronunciation to advanced grammar—by focusing on your specific goals.

Avoid vague requests like “How can I improve my accent?” and be precise: “How do I pronounce the R like a native English speaker?” or “How do I conjugate the verb ‘to be’ in the present tense?”

With Kylian, you’ll never again pay for irrelevant content or feel embarrassed asking “too basic” questions to a teacher. Your learning plan is entirely personalized.

Once you’ve chosen your topic, just hit the “Generate a Lesson” button, and within seconds, you’ll get a lesson designed exclusively for you.

Join the room to begin your lesson

The session feels like a one-on-one language class with a human tutor—but without the high price or time constraints.

In a 25-minute lesson, Kylian teaches exactly what you need to know about your chosen topic: the nuances that textbooks never explain, key cultural differences between French and your target language, grammar rules, and much more.

Ever felt frustrated trying to keep up with a native-speaking teacher, or embarrassed to ask for something to be repeated? With Kylian, that problem disappears. It switches intelligently between French and the target language depending on your level, helping you understand every concept at your own pace.

During the lesson, Kylian uses role-plays, real-life examples, and adapts to your learning style. Didn’t understand something? No problem—you can pause Kylian anytime to ask for clarification, without fear of being judged.

Ask all the questions you want, repeat sections if needed, and customize your learning experience in ways traditional teachers and generic apps simply can’t match.

With 24/7 access at a fraction of the cost of private lessons, Kylian removes all the barriers that have kept you from mastering the language you’ve always wanted to learn.

Take your free lesson with Kylian today.